Mysteries

Since I was a little girl, I remember my mom being in love with mystery novels; She would read one about every week. My mom loves the twist, turns, and discoveries in every book, it is her way to unwind from her hectic day as a teacher. In my own life I have never been a huge fan of mystery novels, I do like the occasional thriller but not a huge mystery girl.

Beyond novels this same sentiment can be applied to my life; I am not a big fan of the mystery of life. I like to know where all the twists and turns are going before I reach the end. Mysteries are unclear and vague which makes me feel like I am jumping off a cliff. Why can't I just know where I am going to fall? Why does it have to be a surprise? Careful planning and knowing every step always leads to happiness, doesn't it?

Lately, through many circumstances I am learning the art of embracing the mystery that is life. I am learning that it does not always have to be a terrible thing just to jump in and not know where your going to land. Most of the happiest moments in life are the unplanned ones and constantly knowing where and when everything will happen leads to monotony. The beauty of life is found in mystery not knowing where the plot will take you next. Sometimes I am just too stubborn to realize these things but always get awoken to these thoughts.

As the months pass by, I am learning to live day by day and to leave room for God and the unexpected. There will be more details in my writings as I discover where God will lead me in the next few months. But for now I am learning to live in the mystery, while I am at it maybe I will read one of my mom's many mystery novels.

Frosted Window Panes

The smell of the corner house's fireplace, crisp cool air, feeling the warm hot chocolate go down your throat and seeing the beautiful lights strewn across the yards. All of these sensations give me the feeling that Christmas is here. It is hard to believe that the holiday season is upon us and I am reminded of the many blessings I have been given and the true meaning of it all.

The old adage "Tis better to give than to receive" has always been a persistent thought as I live in the moments of the holiday season. And I wonder if we truly believe those words. Although, gifts are being bought, wrapped and placed under the tree. Where are our hearts? Is it with the idea that the more money spent the more love there is or the fancier the gift the better? Now in my own life I love giving gifts and I do not see anything wrong with presents. My question this holiday season during a time where giving is typically at a high, what does it all mean to us?

I know for me, I get wrapped up in buying the perfect and most meaningful presents. My greatest desire when I give someone their gift is that they will be floored by my thoughtfulness. Sometimes, I miss the point of giving and what it means. When I listen to the radio I love hearing the stories of anonymous givers who give so much and want no recognition. Or the stories of the people who are struggling but still give as much as they can when they have little. I love these stories because through them I see their hearts and the true meaning of Christmas that I desire to live in that way also.

When I reflect on God's gift of Jesus to the world and the weight of what that truly means. The people who give without their names going on a record or the people who give with not having much themselves display Christ like love. I am so richly blessed and have a lot to offer not only in way of gifts but through how I give my time. During this Christmas time, I want to allow Christ to give through me and to be like the people who all they want to do is give. At the heart of this giving is self-less love, which is the same love Christ has for us.

In the moments of the hustle and bustle, I pray that there will be times when we remember what it all truly means. That our presents do not need to be perfect in appearance or value but when there is self-less love behind them they are perfect gifts. One of my favorite experiences of the holidays is to peer through the frosted window panes to see the beautiful Christmas trees. And as I look through them, I know that the love of family can always be reflected. In your gift giving this holiday season peer through the frosted window panes and remember it is about family, self-less love, gifts and most importantly God's gift to us, Jesus Christ.

Living in Between the Ordinary and Phenomenal

Exciting things have been happening in my life which has caused a drought of blogs. Typically, I can only write blogs when something really inpires me otherwise I would just sound like hum drum mush that does not amount to anything. And for the minute few who read this I want to write things that are phenomenal, inspiring, and exciting.

All the things that are happening right now, I find myself in between the ordinary and phenomenal. The main thing is I have a job, I need another job but I have one nonetheless. After months of searching and being unsure of where I would be, I have ended up where I started Houston, TX. This was the last place in the world I wanted to be but I have slowly become OK with being here for at least two to three years. And for the first year I will be living with my parents which so far has been fine. There is the ordinary side but of course to every ordinary thing there is something that is beyond what anyone hopes or dreams for in their life.

The phenomenal relationships come when you least expect it and of course this phenomenal side is about a boy, as most sides are. An incredible guy who walked into my life out of no where. He has been one of the greatest gifts God could have given me, he has turned my world upside down in a matter of just a little over a month. Everyday I get to see him has an excitement and surprise to it. Your whole life you wait for that to have if only for a little while and even better if it is beyond that. A person that just understands you completely and cares so much about you in an equal exchange.

Life truly is a mystery and two months ago I did not see any of this coming and I would not have had it any other way. God is good even in the midst of uncertainty. I remember my mom told me a few months ago when I had to turn down a job offer I so desperately wanted to take "God is doing something in all this, even when you do not think He is, you just do not know what it is yet." Little did I know how right she would be! Life has its ordinary moments but look and you may find or see something phenomenal. :)

Stories of Sacrifice and Love

Looking through another person's eyes for a moment to see the world in a different way, running through a place of evil villains, near death experiences and hope and if to only feel the pain or triumphs of someone I will never have the chance to meet. These scenarios are why I have a passion to read, to grow and to learn, for a second I leave this world and enter someone else's.

Last night I finished the epic saga of Harry Potter, a series that has swept the world for over ten years. These books open the imagination to a world so different and yet so similar to our own. The fight of good and evil is an ancient one but one that we will always be fighting. Two of the most beautiful and consistent themes through Harry Potter are the concepts of love and sacrifice. Oh love, the sound of the word, the feelings it bring, the adrenaline rush. The world is fond of the feeling of love but Harry Potter reveals the true meaning of love which is sacrifice.

Sacrifice is not something that comes easily, it certainly does not come easily to me. To lay down yourself for someone else, to give up your claim over anything so that someone else can be happy. As easy as it is to type on a computer, these ideals are not easily lived out.

My friend Sarah always said I have an obsession with finding Christian themes in the secular world, this is because I do believe that when you look at the plight of good verse evil there is a sense of who God is in the midst of it. Lately I have been realizing how often I hear "All you need is Love", "Love is the only thing that matters in our world", "love is the only thing worth fighting for". Something simple and yet so revolutionary occured to me as I listened to the words of those universal themes: "God is love", a phrase used among Christians constantly, real love, sacrificial love means that God is present in it because it is who He is.

God is closer than we could ever imagine even to those that do not believe He is real. He is love, let that idea captivate you. In all those books read and stories heard that are filled with sacrificial love, God is speaking through the midst of them all, His beautiful love for us.

Listening to the Moments of Acoustic Guitar

Right now I am sitting in a Starbucks, wishing I had a job and lived in Austin Texas or that I lived in a time or place where people lived off the land, rode horses, and experienced nature fully.The latter is more unlikely than the first scenario. Although mainly, I am wishing for contentment because especially during this season of my life, this has been a hard concept for me to realize.

These last few days have been a blast; I have basically been taking a tour through central Texas, I have been through San Antonio, Austin and Waco. Saw some good people and had some good conversation. In San Antonio I stayed with a family that I went to Haiti with last summer (well the dad and youngest son of the family). I met the oldest son this weekend, who loves music and is a brilliant guitar player. As I listened to him play, it occured to me that some of my favorite moments have been hearing people play this instrument.

The sound of the acoustic guitar has the ability to take me from whatever reality I am in and transform it into a majestic peace. The strums and plucks create an awareness that life is truly a beautiful gift. Even during this time of uncertainty and when really I still do not know where I am going to live or what job I will have. When I listen to the sweet chords, all of my fears and doubts fade away.

Even now as I sit in Starbucks, there is the sound of a soft acoustic guitar playing over the speaker. In the midst of watching the craziness of people walk in and out, that wonderful sound calms my soul.

To whom ever reads this, my hope and prayer for you today, is that in the midst of the business, craziness, and hecticness you find yourself in you find a few moments of peace. Whatever your muse may be a good book, music, conversation with a friend, let the acoustic guitars in your own world make you aware of how amazing life is right here and now.

Let Me be Completely Honest

NOTE: I wrote this in my journal a few months ago and most of it is stuff that I am struggling with in the present. Now, I was afraid to put this on my blog because it is very honest, it will expose my deepest fears and passions but a quality that is important to me is authenticity, so here is my way of displaying that:

"I think I have realized the same thing hundreds of times but in different ways."-My Journal June 22, 2005

I have been reading my 'angst-filled' journals from my senior year of high school. I found this quote to still hit home four years later and I have a feeling I will be reading this when I am 30 and still agree. This year I have lived in the tension of being comfortable with who I am, dwelling on what others think, and having doubts about myself.

There really is no platform I am going to reach where everything makes sense. In fact I think I become more confused as the years go on. I have been told this would happen. It comes down to this one idea for me: I will always be a work in progress. I am merely a month away from walking across another platform, accepting a piece of parchment that tells me I have crossed a milestone.

College was not meant to go by so quickly? Was it? There are a few things I believe are certain and have discovered in the last four years. Guys and girls will never understand each other not unless they learn how to communicate. People are complicated but especially when it comes to intimate relationships. Understanding yourself can be a condrum as well. At some points we all take life too seriously or not serious enough. This is true of my own life as well as others.

I still struggle with selfishness, bitterness, pride, jealousy and have a feeling I must die to myself for the rest of my life. It will NEVER be me who conquers my struggles. The mysteriousness of my faith in Christ and His power through me, will never cease to amaze me.

People will always fail and hurt one another; I will still fail and hurt others but Christ can conquer this if I trust Him. My will or God's will is always a struggle. The fear of what another thinks of me may be my fight for years if I do not trust in God and His love. Trusting God is easier said than done.

The economy is a bit of a tragedy right now. It is hard for me not to focus on what my life would be like if I had a million dollars.

Sometimes I hate myself because I dwell in sin that I am in denial that I have.

One of the times I felt the most alive was when I was in Haiti. I still miss Haiti often! If I had the money I would just go and live there for a year. Maybe I could just move to San Antonio and go with Oak Hills during the year?

Sometimes I want to get married someday soon and sometimes I have no desire for it, I am still discovering who I am. I love adventure, the outdoors, travelling, good music and sports. It would be cool if the next guy I dated liked a combination of those things...Is there a guy with that combination?

Despite doubt/fears/struggles/unfairness I am in love with the gospel more today then when I first heard it, to me it is what is propelling my life.

All I want, is to be able to counsel or to have a job that serves children and to be able to go back to Haiti. These are the things I am prayerfully seeking.

I will NEVER deserve the love and grace God pours out on me daily and do not know where I would be if He didnt't. It is a sincere tragedy that Christians find it necessary to separate the world into two. And what I mean by that is, a big part of me believes God can be found in some of the things we consider 'secular' as well as the hyped up spiritual ones.

These thoughts may be convoluted but they are mine, authentic and real hiding nothing.

Life in Transition

Over the last few weeks, I have spent half my time on the computer looking for a job and the other half helping my best friend get married. I know I am in the same boat as many recent college graduates looking for a job but sometimes it is hard for me not to feel the stress.

Hannah's wedding definitely put life in perspective for me. I talked to college graduates like myself, whom some had jobs and others were still searching. As exciting and mysterious as the future can be, there is something inside of me that is just wanting to know what the next stage holds. I told my dad today, "I know what will make me happy in life and that is to work with kids in a social work type of position and to travel to Haiti at least twice a year."

Experiencing life in transition has been unusual for me, especially a girl who always has a plan and typically a job. Although, I am learning what it means to trust in God alone, which is always somewhat of a struggle for me. And I am also learning to love life and the people I meet along the way. Maybe it is time for me to just hang onto the rollercoaster that is life because I do not know what tomorrow shall bring, it remains a mystery!

The Key to Love

" There is no fear in love; but perfect love drives out fear." 1 John 4:18

I will never forget the night I became best friends with Hannah. We stayed up late watching a movie. After it was over we just talked, about everything. We discussed religion, life, what it means to be a Christian; I do not remember every detail of the conversation, but I do remember knowing then that Hannah and I would be lifelong friends. Soon after Hannah and I became friends, I met Scott.

Scott, at the time was Hannah's long distance boyfriend. We met one weekend when he came down to see Hannah. Although, that was a fun weekend, one of my most significant memories of Scott was our first Christmas break in college. We were hanging out at Hannah's house, - Scott, Hannah and I, and she left the room for a few minutes. When she left Scott exclaimed, "OK Melissa, we only have a few minutes...here is the deal...Hannah had a hard time this semester especially being away from me and her mom...but I keep telling her she has you. So be there for her." I do not remember what I said but I do remember thinking "Wow, Hannah and Scott truly care deeply about each other, the way Christ meant for us to." I also knew then that Scott would be a life long friend because he was going to marry Hannah one day.

It has been three and a half years since then, now Hannah and Scott are less than a week away from being husband wife. The beauty of Scott and Hannah's relationship goes far beyond societal norms, it is based on the love of Christ. Their passion for Christ is what makes their relationship one that I admire more than words can say. They love each other unconditionally, which is the way Christ loved the church.

I am honored to be their friend and to be one of Hannah's bridesmaids. She has truly been a gift from God these past four years of being my friend and three of being my roommate. I have been blessed on many occasions to serve and minister to others with Hannah. I pray one day I will have the opportunity to serve with Scott and Hannah, when they are husband and wife.

There is a profound quote from Les Miserables that says: "To love another person is to see the face of God." Hannah and Scott see the face of God through the way they love one another. I know that God is going to do amazing things through their marriage because He alone is the foundation. And that is the Key to love, it is also their last name! :)

Humanity, Politics & Chocolate

The feeling in the air right now is one of desperation, frustration and hope. The words flying through the wind consist of "job-loss" , "debt" and "worry". I do not pretend to know much about the economy, in fact in high school it was one of my least favorite subjects, however along with most of America I feel the affects.

In the midst of the statistics there seems to be a loss and rememberance of our humanity. For many they were just a necessary cut in order to keep the company running. Then for others their buddy took a pay cut so that they could keep their jobs. The weight of being a human comes to this: How do we react to people in need? How do we respond to an economy crippling under our feet? Through the struggles politics comes into play. It seems that our nation's eyes are focused on one man. Although, Obama does not control the economy with his bare hands. Who knows what will come? Many politicians and buisness men sit together discussing how the problems can be changed. Will they triumph or fail?

Right now amongst the strain of the economy, people are reminded of what it means to be fully alive. Turning to the little things like a good book, a nice walk and chocolate. Soaking up the family they neglect and feeling the hope in that. One proverb my parents drilled into my head is the cup is always half full and never half empty. There is a moment I experienced in Haiti that illustrates this beautifully:

As we travelled from village to village we would throw out candy. One of the times we were throwing candy, a little boy picked up a piece and started shouting "merci" "merci" as if he had just won a million dollars. His jubilee came from a small piece of candy; he found hope and excitement in a tiny piece of candy.

The people of Haiti have no choice but to live simply and to find joy in the minute things. Today my prayer is that you will look at the example of the Haitian boy and that you will find celebration in the small elements of being alive. Eat chocolate chip cookies and sit on your front porch with a good friend, soak it all up. Smile, the glass is always half full!

Another World

This afternoon I am reminded that life is not perfect and that stress always seems to be rearing its ugly head right around the corner. Although, I have made great attempts to lessen my load and to feel completely at peace with life all by myself; I have figured out that this is impossible.

Hannah and I went to her hometown of Belton, TX this weekend for another shower she was having while we were at her house we worked on making invitations for the wedding. On Sunday afternoon her mom, grandma, Hannah and I worked tirelessly to put them together. As, I was sitting there we somehow got on to the topic of the supernatural. Hannah's grandma begin to tell stories about how an angel once helped her in a stressful situation. Then Hannah's mom told a few stories but there was one that really struck me. Hannah's great granddad was in the hospital and was nearly completely gone when Hannah's granddad revived him. As he awoke he said "If I ever get that way again do not revive me because that was the most wonderful place," he saw a glimpse of heaven.

After hearing that story something inside of me melted, I realized there is some place that is more beautiful than my wildest imagination. I have thought about afterlife and death before many times but I think sometimes I forget what it all means. There is another world beyond this one, that even the most breath-taking of landscapes I have seen pale in comparison to what it must be like.

In the midst of the stress of change and realizing the imperfections of it all, these thoughts give me hope. There is more beyond this life and during this life. The times ahead of us look grim and the economy we live in is very unstable but my prayer is that who ever reads this may have peace. Breathe in and out look at the clouds and remember there is more!

Late Night Talks

There are times when my life is spinning out of control and flying by when a pivotal moment hits like a ton of bricks and wakes me up to reality. Last night I had one of these moments or perhaps several of these moments. A brief speck of time, where life seems less like an ambiguous monster but almost graspable.


For about two hours I babysat my neighbors which is always a blast; they were on the verge of going to Disneyland so they were very hyper. After that my Elizabeth are her boyfriend picked me up and we went to Tuscanny's where we hung out with my friend Katie and her boyfriend as well. Later that night I decided to stay over at Katie and Elizabeth's for the evening because my roommates were out of town. We watched "Twilight", we are such girls sometimes, it's so AWESOME ! Elizabeth needed to go to bed so she checked out early then out of no where Katie and I begin to talk about everything really.

Drastically my life was opened and my heart was spilling out on the floor. My fears, ambitions, desires, many minute details that I have not discussed with anyone came out of my mouth. I was realizing my struggles and dreams as I spoke to Katie. One thing I was finally able to admit to myself was that I was using the series Harry Potter as a form of escapism. Not to say anything bad about them because I think they are wonderful stories and will continue reading them, but they have been keeping me from reality. Every night and day I cherish the little moments when I can sit and read or watch these stories unfold; they have become my own personal form of cocaine to distract me from th real world. Indeed this is why people write stories to take us into a world that is not like the one we are in, to take us away from the mundane, but I started to realize how unhealthy this distraction had become in my own life. The craziness of graduation, not knowing where I am going to be next year, the transition of relationships as friends get married; all potentially good things however even as I write it a piece of me shudders.

As Katie poured out some of her passion and thoughts to me it occured to me more how I have stopped trusting God. Sometimes its just easier to hang on to my distraction or fears to mask what could be potentially scary changes. Why is change such a scary and yet exciting unknown? Places I have never been, information yet to be learned, growth that needs to take place, what is scary about all that? Perhaps the fears come from my own lack of confidence in my abilities to achieve or become a person ready and willing to take on whatever happens. Stepping outside of the haven of ACU and walking into a beautiful, new and exciting adventure by myself.

Yet I know that I am not alone, I know my King walks ahead of me whatever new world I am in, He is there. Such a simple concept of faith that I fail at every single day. Believing. To believe that I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me. People who do not really have faith call this sentimental, religious hog wash. Sometimes I understand where they are coming from but to me, in the depths of my being I know that this is true. Katie reminded me once again that it is NOT ME, it is Him who lives through me, Him who can talk on anything that happens.

As our conversation came to a close, I was at peace once again. My life is about to change drastically but it will be good and I am NOT ALONE! Thank you Katie for opening my eyes to so many realizations of my life, you truly were used this Friday night and I am grateful! :)

Nights with Tricia

Tonight was an inspirtational night, I hung out with my friend Tricia. One might think what is so inspirational about hanging out with a friend? Well, she is different; we are in two different stages in life for one. Tricia is married, has two children, a full time job and all the responsibilites of what it means to be an adult. How could we relate? She has been and lived in many different countries something that I deeply envy. She has had a rocky journey through life but has learned to trust God and keep Him first through it all. I love to listen to her stories and to talk about the places she has been.

There have been many times in my life when I have prayed for God to send me mentors; women who are older than me that have wisdom, that I can learn and grow from. These last few years God has sent me two one is Tricia and the other is my neighbor Amber. The conversations I have had with them have revealed to me the type of woman I one day want to become.

Tricia and I have only hung out a twice at night but these have been some of the most memorable nights I have had this semester. Whether it is eating dinner and getting coffee or seeing a movie like we did tonight; I have enjoyed every second of it. Tonight we went and saw "He's Just Not that Into You" with her daughter. It was a great movie and I had a lot of fun with both of them. We went to Hastings after shopping around for books and playing quiz games with her daughter it was ideal.

On our drive home I began to think about the movie more and what it truly means to be in love and have a great marriage one that I believe Tricia has. I asked her what her secret was to having a successful marriage. She said "It takes time and commitment.; since we live in such a fast food nation we forget about what it means to truly work at something, to really want it.Also, finding someone who puts God first the way you do." Bam, right there I have heard this many times but hearing it again; I realized that this is exactly what I want and I am not in a hurry to get it. I want to have someone that desires to work at a marriage as much as I do and I will wait as long as it takes for that to come into my life without searching for it.

Nights with Tricia have become my new favorite thing about being in Abilene, even right before I leave here. I will not forget what these women have taught me from spending time with them and their families.

Questions from the Theater Seat

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them," this is a famous quote by Henry David Thoreau. Today I went and saw "Revolutionary Road", it was an excellent movie and it made me think. The movie reminded me of that quote by Thoreau; I cannot get the thought out of my head. Are we all slaves to this idea that security means happiness? I do not think the tragedy is having a job that brings security, as long as it is what brings the most joy to a person's life.

My mom is a teacher, she has been a teacher my whole life. When I was growing up I attended many churches, one of the churches I went to strongly criticized women working. The thought always made me sad, why would they criticize the life my mom chose like that? One of the greatest things my mom taught me with her life, is to do what you love. She has loved teaching all of these years and that had such a huge impact on my brothers and I. I do not know if I meant to go on a tangent about women working or not, the main point I am trying to make is societal pressures should not dictate anyone's life, should they? People should have a job and life they love, shouldn't they? At least that is always what my mom taught me.

Now, as I am about to graduate from college, I think about these things. What kind of career do I want? I always thought I knew but I have found myself changing my mind. Do I want to do school counseling or counseling in general? Should I have just been a teacher, like my grandma always wanted ? The only thing I know for certain is that I worship God who is so mighty and His dreams for me are greater than I could ever imagine. My whole life I have desired to counsel, to serve, to listen, to love, to travel the world and maybe the road to this life will not always be clear.

Beyond the confusion, I am comforted to know that God never meant for us to live lives of "quiet desperation". Christ came so that we might have life to the full and everyday that road is opening up before me. I am glad hollywood still makes movies like the "Revolutionary Road", they make me think and I guess as long as I am still thinking, loving and praying; the vision of something more will become more palpable.

Historical Moments

Thinking about today and what this inauguration means to so many despite who was voted for or not voted for the one word that comes to my mind is: unity. An idea that has always felt like a fairy tale to me. What would that look like? To be a country unified, is that possible? As much as I want to believe that we have taken steps to accomplish this goal, it still seems to me to be a dream. Although, I do not desire to discount our efforts because there is something I do believe is real and that is hope, hope that this is possible. Hope that we can look past our many differences whether political, external, economical, or whatever it may be so that we can accomplish goals greater than ourselves.

Sometimes, I think these thoughts are like a resounding gong that has been hammered one too many times. History proves this, countless men and women have fought for these ideals. And as I listened to Obama's speech today, the theme rang true through his words. To be honest I know we have leaders for a reason and they do impact and shape our world but they do not necessarily define it. The many people living out our lives just wanting day by day the same dreams that many others want: WE DEFINE IT. We define our world and I believe that common men, every single day change it. An idea that I like to call quiet revolutionaries, we are quiet revolutionaries. And my biggest prayer is that people believe that they are the ones capable of making change happen.

Today as I sit and bang this gong one more time, my hope is that whom ever reads this will remember that they have power in themselves to change the course of history, of human hearts and of people's minds.

A Fresh Start

On a whim I have decided to start blogging again. I do not know if I will be proficient and timely about posting but I can always try. There have been many life altering events since I wrote on here. I think the most life changing experience I have had was going to Haiti this past summer. My picture to the right is actually the view from the plane when we were leaving. Words cannot fully capture that experience. In lieu of this thought I have decided to post one of my journal entries from my time there, I also posted this on my facebook page but here it is again:


Alright, going to Haiti this summer was an all around phenomenal trip. The Oak Hills team I went with for the first week was a group of exceptional people who were a blast to have this experience with and I love each one of them. And if you were to ask us all what one of our favorite parts of the trip was we would each reply with something personal but all of us would say something about what happened in Benjamin. In tribute to that thought, I wanted to put one of my journal entries up from that weekend to give people a glimpse of what it was like even though really it cannot be fully captured in my words. Although, I did the best I could to convey my emotions and maybe some of the emotions of our team.

June 28, 2008

Under the Haiti Stars

Waking up this morning was a bit more of a challenge, we left the Petitanese Orphanage at around 5:30 AM to travel to the village of Benjamin. In distance the trip is only 45 miles but because the roads here are not paved, we can only travel at an average of 15-20 MPH so it takes 5 hours to get there. Despite all of that the drive was absolutely breathtaking. This country is mountainous, green and lush with beauty. Even when I try to take pictures it is difficult to capture the sheer elegance and beauty.

The journey was full of bumps, trenches filled with water and dust lots of dust. We also crossed two rivers which was definitely an adventure. The travel was a bonding experience for our whole team. I became even closer to our interpreter Arry, he is such a great guy. He said something to Angie and I today that hit my heart hard and it will never leave me. He was talking about how he wanted to leave Haiti someday. Angie asked "Well where would you want to go?", I chimed in with "Yea...would you want to go to America or...". And all he said was "Any where I can find a job". I then asked "What type of job would you want to do, what do you want to be". Arry's response was "I just want to work". Wow. In that moment I knew that this trip would forever change my perspective on life and our world. One of the most heart breaking things about Haiti is that the jobs are few and far between.

We eventually reached a hospital where we stopped to take a break, eat lunch, we were almost there. The people we are with are incredible Moise, Arry, Rodney, Fred and all of our interpreters are constantly serving us. They always wait for us to get food or drinks before they do. They answer any of our questions, I see Christ in them all the time. We finally reached the orphanage in Benjamin. The landscape is gorgeous and the kids are really sweet. The kids are really sweet, however they are a bit more reserved and know less English than the Petitanese kids. Although, we still find ways to communicate to each other. I am slowly picking up pieces of Creole and can understand what they are saying but it is hard for me to speak it. We performed Noah's Ark again which is always a blast. Everyone in the group always gives their best performance. I gave an Academy Award winning performance as the Raven. If we really were to compete though I bet the Dove (Aubrey Kunkel) would win something or maybe even the water( Michael McKissick and Margaret Blomstrom). I do not know if my performance is quite to their level. Anyways after we put on the performance we helped the kids with the bracelets and crafts. I love these kids and soak up every second I can when I am with them. Mary and I also had a profound conversation today, I am going to miss her a lot. All of these high school kids are studs in their own right.

Alfred and his family opened up their home to us, they are quite extraordinary people. For dinner we were treated like kings, I ate goat for the first time, it was not half bad. The food here is actually quite good and their fruit, oh man, their fruit it is so delicious. After dinner we walked around the village and Jim lead us up to the valley. I really thought I was about to die when Jim was just taking us to this random location but in the end it all worked out. The view was such a sight to see and a moment that was almost too much to take in. Then we traveled back to Alfred's house.

As we approached the house we could hear laughing coming from the back. The interpreters and some of our team were playing a game called Accused. Basically one person stands in front of the group with their back facing the group and waits for their hand to be slapped ( you get hit really hard too). Then the person standing in front turns around and "accuses" the person they think did it. It was SO much FUN! Rodney's colors definitely came out tonight he was the liveliest one, the whole time we were standing there you would hear him say "So hard..not so hard...so hard". We all had a blast. The best part was seeing the joy and love these people have despite all of the obstacles they have had in life. My heart has been touched by the fun loving spirits of the Haitian people.

After we were done playing, all of us ended up sitting on Alfred's front porch. There was not a planned out worship time but we all started to sing and praise. The kids and people would come listen to us. I really loved worshipping tonight and it has been awhile since I have enjoyed worshipping. Jim taught us this really cool song he learned from Africa that was a lot of fun. As we closed the night we were kept in a trance by the stars, you could see every little one and it reminded me that the God I serve is all-powerful and majestic.

WOW! What an incredible day it has been. I can already feel how much I am going to miss the team when they leave but even more how much I am going to miss Haiti when I have to leave. Everything about Haiti has gotten under my skin and I know I will not be the same when I go back home. I am going to miss these kids, the ones I have met at Benjamin like Jonny, Rosalin, Mylove and all of them, the ones at Petitanese and the ones I have yet to meet. The team fits together so well and they have been awesome! As I close, I am laying on my bed listening to the sounds of the night, the sweet lullaby of Haiti that nearly brings me to tears every time I fall asleep.